


Musings

by Nnoitra



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, M/M, Other, but i mean, for something i wrote when i was like 13, i feel so bad posting this old thing, i guess, its not that bad, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8940835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nnoitra/pseuds/Nnoitra
Summary: But it was all too late to do anything, and your imagination is only in your head.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Here we have yet ANOTHER fanfic I found in my old documents, this one dating back a fair few years. Can you believe this was my first major OTP? You can also read this on my FF.net account BUT, this time I think you would rather not. The author's note there made me kind of want to die. I guess the only thing I can relate to about that ending note of mine there is that I do still, embarrassingly, like that song I mentioned. (You can already kind of get the vibes of how terribly cringy it was)

We cant stop. We just want our minds to think normally again. It's not fair. We shouldn't think these kinds of things. We're Noah for God's sake, so why? Why are we thinking these horrible thoughts? I mean, it's not like we hate the thoughts exactly. Actually, we more or less love them, but we know we can't let our inner Noah know this; It would put our lives at risk!

  
It could _kill_ us. _Noah_ would kill us.

  
We couldn't live if one of our halves died. If one died, so would the other. But...it is bound to happen anyway. It's inevitable. Especially with the thoughts that are running through our minds.

  
I mean...

  
He's an Exorcist... Of every person in the world, we think of an Exorcist in that kind of way.

  
But... how can we think the thoughts we think? About him? About the vampire-like Exorcist? We didn't even meet him for more than twenty minutes...

  
But...in that small amount of time that we fought, so many emotions went through our heads. And thoughts as well...

  
Thoughts such as;

 

  _'He understands how humans called us monsters...'_

  
_'He must have experienced the same pain as us'_

  
_'He cares for his friends more than his own life'_

  
_'He is actually kind of cool'_

  
_'We might actually like this guy'_

 

It was hard for us to put him in the Iron Maiden. We so badly wanted to pull him out of it and apologize to him for everything; even go as low as to beg him for forgiveness. It was worse when he reached out to us from inside the Iron Maiden; was he reaching for help or for an attack? We were never sure...

  
Tch, what have we become? Love-ridden fools, that's what.

  
But that's good.

 

Being in love is good. It brings happiness and sadness at the same time.

  
We already knew we were in love, though.

  
We were in love with the vampire-like Exorcist; Arystar Krory 3rd.

  
But it was the sad kind of love; but a different kind of sadness to the other humans. They go along the lines of 'Aww he didn't notice me looking at him', but we go along the lines of 'is he dead or alive? Does he hate us because we fought that one time?'

 

Maybe we were 100% sure we were in love with him when we kissed him...

  
Does he know about the kiss, though? Is he even still alive? I don't know, but I hope he is so we can have the small chance of seeing him again. Maybe...get to know him some more.

  
But I can still feel him on me; from when he hugged us against his chest so his friends could get away. We really feel guilty about stabbing him with our hair; it was a reflex reaction!

  
Maybe if we ever meet again he might blush because he remembered the kiss. That would be cute.

  
Too bad we will never get to see him again. We're positive of it. We can dream of it, imagine it, think of it, beg for it; but nothing will work.

  
At least not while we are laying at the Earl's feet.

  
Covered in blood and struggling for breath.

  
We guess our inner Noah communicated with him in some telepathic way; damn the Noah inside us. Damn him to hell.

  
But now everyone knows. All the other Noah's.

  
_Wisely_

  
_Road_

  
_Tyki_

All of them know; every single person. Even those whose names we cannot bother to remember.

  
Everyone knows of our love. The love we have.

  
My love for the enemy. They're not going to let us go un-punished. They've already hurt us pretty bad.

  
Hey...everything's going black. My vision is fading. I guess this is the end for us. They've decided it's best to finish us off; to avoid corruption to the Earl's plans...

  
_But hey Vampire, Hey Vampire Exorcist..._

  
_Hey Arystar,_

  
_I love you_

  
Although you will never hear us say that, for I'm afraid this is it for us. You'd be disgusted anyway.

  
 _Goodbye, Vampire_.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, for something I wrote in my weeb era I do quite like it. I feel a bit bad for dissing it without reading it. But hey, at least the grammar is edited now.


End file.
